Why Single Ladies Don't Get Along With Their Married Friends
Reasons why single ladies don't get along with their married friends
A long time a ago, I had a best friend. A best friend that would help me wash my dirty linen in private while I do the rinsing ☺:-)
A best friend that I could talk about everything and anything with until it’s time to watch the sun rise except we are not acting a god damn movie.
A best friend whom I don’t hide my broke state from because she will make sure my next meal is not my last supper.
Little wonder there was nothing we hide from each other. Our bond grew even as our different love relationships became a past, making us cry in the arms of each other; taking solace and comfort until the tears are dried. Oh the jist comes after.
Distance wasn't a barrier. It was just a way to compile the gist until it is big enough to make an episode of super story. Too bad MTN has stopped midnight call. It would have been cheaper.
The relationship was like that until marriage happened to one of us. Communication said good bye along with the visiting hours even when we are in the same location.
I was surprised by my newly married friend’s call one day. Guess what? She wanted me to visit her.
“What about your husband?” I asked.
“He traveled, I have already discussed it with him and he is cool with it. What do you say?”
“I don’t know what to say”. (Definitely surprised)
“Just say yes, you know it will be an opportunity for us to read together as we used to during exams”
Well I said yes and that is what inspired this article.
So here are my reasons why single ladies don’t get along with their married friends.
1. The married ones become ‘Special Adviser’ on marriage affairs making the single ladies their first client.
This is a special case of ‘work no pay’. The married ones know everything about marriage over night and have to school their single novice friends on everything they know. Experience is the best teacher right?
“I can tell from experience as a married woman” They married ones say in every marriage argument while giving their single friend the ‘I am right’ look. But seriously what experience does the single friend have( for all her ‘I am in a relationship answer’ to other guys, she is still officially single)
The married ones will now finish the heartbreak by adding “boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is not the same with marriage” (ah my chest, somebody give me sniper I want to die).
Well here is a perfect reply from us single ladies “you will need a certified license, good recommendation and ‘forever’ years working experience for me to believe you”.
2. The ‘newish’ syndrome
we all know how well we enjoy newly acquired good things of life. Be it phone, dress, shoe, car, house and bras and parties. We always want to show them off at every chance we get, rocking them always like there is no tomorrow.
This is how it is with new married sisters. They drum the ears of their single friends with the good, the fun and the exciting in marriage (of course they are yet to taste the ugly or are still blinded by the sweet part) until the single friends are ready to take the next available to shiloh ground.
The single sisters become frustrated at their single status and sometimes the one on the receiving end of it is whoever they are dating that has refused to put a ring on it. This results to the single friends keeping their distance until their finger gets the best jewelry it deserves.
3. No common grounds to stand on
The status has changed; one is legally married the other is legally single (whether she is in a serious relationship or not).
Priorities change with the change in status. For the married sister her new family becomes her priority while the single friend’s priority can be anything (which includes finding someone to put a ring on it). There are no more secrets to share especially one that will make the other person laugh behind your back.
The married friend will not trade any of her marriage secrets with her single friend for fear of being laughed at. The single friend can easily get tired of being the only one divulging secrets and would like to avoid insults like “you are still dick shopping, you will not find one person and settle down. You are not getting any younger”.
4. Everything becomes about marriage
My friends finally believed I had broken up with my first boyfriend when his name didn't come up during every conversation at every slightest chance.
That is the way it is with our married friends; everything becomes and revolves around marriage until their single friends could identify the smell of marriage in the air. The first few days at my friend’s house made me feel like I was with a total stranger because everything about her changed down to the type of food she eats. The first few days there were as follows:
“babe let’s take tea”
“I and my husband don’t take tea again, you know those things are too sugary and not good for the body”
“babe let’s fry yam and egg”
“I and my husband don’t eat fried things again, they are not good for the body”
“Babe let’s dry cook the tomatoes before using it to make stew since it is easier that way”
“My husband doesn't like it that way”
Guys is marriage not ‘changederful’?
I remember one time after we finished watching a movie on my laptop. The next thing she said was “please put another movie that teaches marriage lessons like the one that just ended”
Well I obliged her by playing a movie that was all about how married men cheat on their wives and different ways the wives handle the situation. When the movie ended I asked her how she would handle her husband if he was to cheat.
Guess what guys, she sent me packing out of her house.
Did I do anything wrong?
Someone cannot ask question again?
Is that not a lesson?
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